Dream Job No More.

I didn’t take the job. The agency was offering 6K less than I make now and after weighing the pros and cons, there were more cons in taking the job. I am still not sure if I made the right decision. I am the type of person that will stress over this for the next 8 months. But maybe something better will come out of this. I am back to the plan of moving with Phil when he goes to Raleigh. Maybe there will be more opportunities there. Or maybe I will actually make a good group of friends and begin to be happy. Who knows. But I am kind of excited and ready for October to get here and begin this journey.


Job Dilemma.

I am just curious. What is everyone’s view on job searching while already holding a job? I am just trying to understand the ethics of this in making a big decision for my life.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long post as I try to organize my thoughts, so please bear with me or feel free to stop right here and just give me your general opinions. ūüôā

I currently hold a position as a marketing assistant at an engineering firm in Charlotte. It has been a great starter job and I have learned a lot. But I know this isn’t a position I want to be in forever. Some days being at this job is unbearable. But it does have it’s perks: I have my own office, my boss and the other marketing assistant I work with are both very nice, I am encouraged to join local marketing associations and the company pays for my membership, there are some down days where I can work on my personal projects (like writing this for example), I have the ability to transfer offices if I want (they have offices throughout the Carolinas), and my boss is very understanding of taking days off or working from home, etc.

While this job has so many perks, the downfall is that I am miserable here. I do not enjoy the actual job itself and I am certain it is not what I want to be doing with my life. I love the people I work with, they are all very nice to me, but I am 24 and the closest person to my age is 28. I am the only one in the office not married. And the majority of the employees here are 40 year old men. So it is a little hard to interact and relate to my co-workers. If I am here 80% of my day, I feel like I should have “friends” or at least relate to the people I am working with.

I apply for jobs randomly when I see any that interest me, but I never expect a phone call back. Well, last week, I got a phone call from a marketing agency for an account manager position. I feel like this is a job I would like to do – working in an actual agency, but I can’t be sure since I have never had that experience before. The employees at this agency are young, the job seems like it would interest me, and it is a new career path I think would suit me.

So it seems like I should jump on this opportunity and dive headfirst for this job, but here is my dilemma. And please don’t judge me for it. I have been with my boyfriend, Phil, for over 2 years – we have known each other for over 7 years. He lives with me now and has a really good job with the department of transportation. In October, he has to transfer¬†to Raleigh for his job. Since the company I am with now has an office in Raleigh, the plan was for me to transfer as well and go with him. We had done the long distance relationship while we were in college for the past 2 years and now that we are in the adult world, I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want to finally be with him. I know it is stupid to follow a boy and not think about yourself first, I always judge people for that, but I do love him and know I will not be¬†truly¬†happy without him. Everything seemed set into place, until I got a call for this interview.

It’s not to say that I even have this job, but I feel I should think about all of this before anything unfolds (I am a planner). Reason would tell me to jump on this opportunity, yet in my heart I don’t want to. If I jump on this, I will have to stay in Charlotte, but I am not sure I even want to. I have a great thing going with the position I am in now, yet I hate the job.

I guess I will have to balance these pro’s and con’s a lot more the next couple days. I am the most indecisive person, so this will be torture. Torture not only because I hate making decisions, but because I hate letting people down. If I do decide to take this position, I have no idea how to face my boss. She has stuck up for me and¬†has taught me so much at this job. This is why I am wondering what the ethics are in applying/interviewing for other jobs.

Happily Ever After.

It has been the busiest past two weeks. Work has been crazy, home life has been busy, and my best friend got married! I was so honored that she asked me to stand next to her on this big day. We go back to 6th grade, where we went to a private Christian school. Over the years, we ended up going to different high schools, different colleges, but still kept in touch. She was always that one friend that I knew I could call and would be there for me. During her junior year of college, she found herself pregnant and moved back home. The dad was a complete idiot and was pushed out of the picture, which was smart, but left her alone. During her¬†pregnancy¬†she ended up getting to know Shane, her now husband, and he stepped up for her, was there for her, and now calls himself “dad” for her little girl. You don’t find many guys that will step up like this and be there. It makes me so happy that she found her “happily ever after” she was looking for. She couldn’t ask for a better man.

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All this wedding planning going on the past month with Meagan has made me appreciate the meaning of marriage much more. I had never seriously thought about it before. Phil (my boyfriend) always “jokes” when people get married or engaged that they are “throwing their life away.” But after watching them, and witnessing how happy two people can be, I realize that it is more than just a piece of paper. They are genuinely happy. Shane has stepped up as a man and loving her child as if it were his. He is proof that there are still good men in the world. I see that they will do anything to make the other happy. Marriage isn’t just about signing a paper, getting tax breaks, or having a joint bank account. It is about living your life with someone who complements you, takes care of you, and wants to see you happy.

I never thought I would be this jealous of seeing someone get married…but I guess this is just growing up.

The Used

You know how songs/band remind you of certain periods of your life? This past week I have been on a The Used kick. In middle and high school, I used to love¬†them. I thought I was a hardcore/emo/scene kid when I was that age.¬†High school¬†is an¬†embarrassing¬†time for us all, so we don’t need to go into detail, we all thought we were cooler than we really were.

Well this is what The Used brings be back to. I have forgotten how much I love this band and the feelings it brings when listening to it. Yes, it brings me back to a time of teen angst and rebellion. But it was some of the most carefree, easiest years of my life. I didn’t have bills to worry about. I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck. I had so much freedom to do what I wanted and I still believed I could accomplish my dreams. I used to think I had so many problems and such a hard life, but this was the time of my life. I just love how old music can bring you back to this point and make you happy. ūüôā


Don’t judge my purple hair and typical “myspace pose”. This is what was cool back then.