Busy Bee.

When I started this blog, I had so much on my mind and so many topics I wanted to talk about. I never thought life would get this busy and leave me with little to no time to get this blog going. But work is getting hectic, on average working over 50 hours a week. By the time I get home, after I make dinner, and clean whatever mess there is in the apartment, I just want to sleep or just relax and read. I have been so busy that there is honestly nothing of importance on my mind anymore.

I feel like I have started to go through life living in this routine of going to work, coming home, get a good half hour of actual “bonding time” with Phil, then I’m ready for bed. This is not what I was planning for in adult life.

When you have a busy work life, how do you make time for yourself? What are some things Phil and I can do together after a busy work day for both of us? Any suggestions would be helpful because this monotonous routine and lack of stimulation is beginning to wear me down.

Dream Job No More.

I didn’t take the job. The agency was offering 6K less than I make now and after weighing the pros and cons, there were more cons in taking the job. I am still not sure if I made the right decision. I am the type of person that will stress over this for the next 8 months. But maybe something better will come out of this. I am back to the plan of moving with Phil when he goes to Raleigh. Maybe there will be more opportunities there. Or maybe I will actually make a good group of friends and begin to be happy. Who knows. But I am kind of excited and ready for October to get here and begin this journey.

Job Dilemma.

I am just curious. What is everyone’s view on job searching while already holding a job? I am just trying to understand the ethics of this in making a big decision for my life.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long post as I try to organize my thoughts, so please bear with me or feel free to stop right here and just give me your general opinions. 🙂

I currently hold a position as a marketing assistant at an engineering firm in Charlotte. It has been a great starter job and I have learned a lot. But I know this isn’t a position I want to be in forever. Some days being at this job is unbearable. But it does have it’s perks: I have my own office, my boss and the other marketing assistant I work with are both very nice, I am encouraged to join local marketing associations and the company pays for my membership, there are some down days where I can work on my personal projects (like writing this for example), I have the ability to transfer offices if I want (they have offices throughout the Carolinas), and my boss is very understanding of taking days off or working from home, etc.

While this job has so many perks, the downfall is that I am miserable here. I do not enjoy the actual job itself and I am certain it is not what I want to be doing with my life. I love the people I work with, they are all very nice to me, but I am 24 and the closest person to my age is 28. I am the only one in the office not married. And the majority of the employees here are 40 year old men. So it is a little hard to interact and relate to my co-workers. If I am here 80% of my day, I feel like I should have “friends” or at least relate to the people I am working with.

I apply for jobs randomly when I see any that interest me, but I never expect a phone call back. Well, last week, I got a phone call from a marketing agency for an account manager position. I feel like this is a job I would like to do – working in an actual agency, but I can’t be sure since I have never had that experience before. The employees at this agency are young, the job seems like it would interest me, and it is a new career path I think would suit me.

So it seems like I should jump on this opportunity and dive headfirst for this job, but here is my dilemma. And please don’t judge me for it. I have been with my boyfriend, Phil, for over 2 years – we have known each other for over 7 years. He lives with me now and has a really good job with the department of transportation. In October, he has to transfer to Raleigh for his job. Since the company I am with now has an office in Raleigh, the plan was for me to transfer as well and go with him. We had done the long distance relationship while we were in college for the past 2 years and now that we are in the adult world, I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want to finally be with him. I know it is stupid to follow a boy and not think about yourself first, I always judge people for that, but I do love him and know I will not be truly happy without him. Everything seemed set into place, until I got a call for this interview.

It’s not to say that I even have this job, but I feel I should think about all of this before anything unfolds (I am a planner). Reason would tell me to jump on this opportunity, yet in my heart I don’t want to. If I jump on this, I will have to stay in Charlotte, but I am not sure I even want to. I have a great thing going with the position I am in now, yet I hate the job.

I guess I will have to balance these pro’s and con’s a lot more the next couple days. I am the most indecisive person, so this will be torture. Torture not only because I hate making decisions, but because I hate letting people down. If I do decide to take this position, I have no idea how to face my boss. She has stuck up for me and has taught me so much at this job. This is why I am wondering what the ethics are in applying/interviewing for other jobs.

Staying Positive

I think this is one of my biggest challenges in life right now. It’s hard to stay positive when you feel the world around you is crumbling. For instance, at this moment:

  • I am living in a city where I don’t really have friends, my best friend who did live here is now in Australia for three months.
  • I am not in the “dream job” I hoped to have. In fact, most days I dread going to work.
  • Me and the roommate aren’t getting along, or speaking for that matter.
  • I have student loans that I seem to be drowning in. I can barely afford to pay rent, yet alone the ginormous amount of loans I have.
  • Me and my boyfriend fight, it’s normal, but I would like for us to not be at each other’s throats for petty stuff.
  • In general, I feel completely and utterly alone at this point in my life.

You see how pessimistic I have become??? All I can focus on is what seems to be going wrong. Usually I would sit here and cry about it. Which doesn’t solve anything. At all. Only makes it worse.

So this is my challenge: find the positive. Like I said before, this blog is to mark a new beginning. I need to change my life around, back to a happy place. Back to a place where I enjoy being alive every single day. And I think staying positive, even when everything isn’t going my way is the place to start and the key.

So here is the list again, but with the positives:

  • Yes, my best friend is halfway around the world and I miss her like crazy. But I can still skype with her. She is also going to have some amazing stories when she gets home and I can’t wait to hear them. 🙂 …also, I want her to bring me a kangaroo.
  • Yes, it’s not my “dream job”. But I HAVE a job. There are some people I graduated with who are still looking and working in retail. I am still young. At least I have my foot in the door and can gain that experience that will lead to the job I want.
  • My roommate is one of my good friends. We met in college, went to Ireland together, and have been friends ever since. The reason we aren’t talking is because of a grudge being held. I have made it clear I let everything go, I am over the situation, and I apologized. It seems to have not been accepted and there is nothing I can do about that. It is not my fault she is still mad. I tried my best to handle conflict in an adult way, but it wasn’t reciprocated. I am the type of person to makes sure everyone around me is happy. In this situation, I tried to resolve it to make both of us happy, eventually giving into her side. I did my best. I tried. But if it doesn’t work out, then all I need to know is that I tried. This is usually a hard concept for me to grasp, but surprisingly I feel good about it. So whenever she feels like coming around, I’ll be waiting.
  • Bills, bills bills. Can’t afford to pay my bills. Seriously. I finally get a decent amount of money in my account, then it is taken away by the end of the month with the stack of bills….hard to see the positive in this. But at least I have an income to pay these bills. Yes, I am left with very little each month…but I am still left with something. Luckily I have a very supportive family that will help me out if I ever need it. Not that I ever want to ask, but if it came down to it, they will never let me drown.
  • Yes, I have boyfriend drama. I make it into a bigger deal than it really is. But I’m a girl. It’s what we do. But it is something I am working on. Coinciding with this blog, we are working on our relationship. We are both trying to be better people, nicer to each other, and showing our love more. So far it has been working. As I am trying to stay positive, I am not getting angry about little things or trying to start fights. In the end, I know we love each other, we just forget it when life gets a little crazy.
  • Lastly, I feel alone. I am in a new city (kinda…I went to college 30 minutes away), but most of my friends have graduated. How do you make new friends in a new city?? Well, this is one mission I have yet to accomplish. But I am positive that I can accomplish it…I think this can be considered a positive outlook on the situation? 🙂

Step 1: almost complete. I know this is basically just me talking to myself, but I would love any advice on how you stay positive or bring yourself up when everything seems to be going wrong.